KennyS unsure of CSGO future: \u201cIf there\u2019s no space for me in CS I\u2019ll find it elsewhere\u201d BLASTIn a candid interview with Dexerto, Kenny \u2018kennyS\u2019 Schrub, one of Counter-Strike\u2019s all-time greats, opened up about his mental health problems and in-game struggles. He is looking to return to competition and does not rule out a switch to Valorant if the CS:GO doors are completely shut on him. KennyS can pinpoint exactly the moment when his career started to derail. It was September 2017, and his G2 Esports team had just lifted the DreamHack Masters Malm\u00f6 trophy after beating North convincingly in a two-map affair. KennyS was named the MVP of the tournament, but he didn\u2019t feel like celebrating. He was fighting internal demons at the time, retirement thoughts rattling around in his head. \u201cBefore the event, I gathered my team and told them I didn\u2019t want to play the game anymore,\u201d kennyS told Dexerto. \u201cI told them that I was going to make a decision during the tournament. I wanted to retire at this point. \u201cI had no fun winning the tournament or the MVP. I should have. I had a really weird mindset at this time. I won the tournament, I was the MVP and I was not happy. \u201cNow that I look back, I should have opened two bottles of champagne and poured it all over me, but that wasn\u2019t the case.\u201d That was the last time kennyS won an MVP medal or a tier-one trophy. He kept on playing, not because he had a change of heart, but because he didn\u2019t know what else to do. He also didn\u2019t want his career to end on such a sour note, fearing that he might regret what would have been \u201can emotional decision.\u201d But the problems didn\u2019t go away, and his game began to suffer as he \u201cfell into a depression\u201d. \u201cI had some good tournaments, some bad tournaments, some really good months, some bad months,\u201d he admitted. \u201cI became really inconsistent.\u201d Once one of the game\u2019s most reliable AWPers, kennyS started to quietly fade into the background. Rise and fall KennyS burst onto the Counter-Strike scene at the tail end of Source\u2019s lifespan, transitioning to CS:GO in the summer of 2012 alongside the rest of the VeryGames squad. Between 2013 and 2017, he appeared on every HLTV Top 20 player ranking (three times inside the top 10) and racked up ten MVP medals, one of which from the DreamHack Open Cluj-Napoca 2015 Major that he won with Envy. By late 2017, kennyS\u2019 MVP tally was only matched by Christopher \u2018GeT_RiGhT\u2019 Alesund, who had won ten medals between 2012 and 2014, nine of which were during NIP\u2019s heyday, when the scene was still finding its feet. By virtually every metric, kennyS was among the very best in the history of the game. But as he entered a dark period in his life, years of bad habits finally caught up with him. \u201cI always knew I had a special talent, and I always thought that would be enough,\u201d he said. \u201cBut at some point, it wasn\u2019t enough, because there were other players who had as much talent as me but were also working really hard. And as people say, talent without work is nothing.\u201d In September 2020, after years of peaks and valleys, kennyS decided to buckle down and work hard following G2\u2019s signing of Nikola \u2018NiKo\u2019 Kova\u010d from FaZe in a mega deal. The arrival of the Bosnian superstar gave kennyS a great boost of motivation but also a sudden sense of insecurity. It\u2019s a recurring theme in the scene how NiKo has taken up extra duties when his teams aren\u2019t clicking, and he keeps everyone in check with his demanding ways. \u201cI began working really hard, which I hadn\u2019t done my whole career,\u201d kennyS said. \u201cI thought, \u2018I\u2019m not the face of G2 CS:GO anymore. I\u2019m playing with NiKo, a really great and hard-working player. I need to step up.\u2019\u201d The prospect of seeing NiKo free of the in-game leadership shackles and playing alongside his cousin, Nemanja \u2018huNter-\u2018 Kova\u010d, and kennyS left fans salivating, but the team flopped woefully. A semi-final appearance in IEM Beijing-Haidian \u2013 a rather humdrum tournament \u2013 was G2\u2019s best finish in the months that followed as the team suffered early exits at a series of big events. At the same time, kennyS started posting some of his worst career numbers, and his influence inside the server seemed to be on the wane. In March, just days after an IEM Katowice group stage exit, G2 announced that kennyS had been moved to the bench as the team brought support player Audric \u2018JaCkz\u2019 Jug back into the main roster, sacrificing firepower in the hopes of becoming a more stable and well-rounded unit. It was the first time in kennyS\u2019 career that he had found himself on the bench. Any player in that situation would be devastated. Instead, though, he was relieved. \u201cI think at some point it was not the right team for me,\u201d kennyS explained. \u201cWith JaCkz on the bench, we had three players that needed someone taking space for them, and we had just AmaNEk doing that. \u201cIt was really hard having three star players together and making all of them happy. When you know that NiKo comes in for a big amount of money, well, they better put him in the best possible positions. I lost space, and so did huNter. \u201cDespite the fact that I was working a lot, they decided to bench me, and I cannot blame them for that. Honestly, I was sad for an evening, but afterward, I was so relieved. It was a complicated situation for me. \u201cYou always see it coming. I was at a bootcamp with them just before I got benched, I can tell you that I felt it. I also wasn\u2019t confident at all. I had bad performances. That is a fact. It was getting super hard for me.\u201d Read more: PGL Major Stockholm coverage hub – According to him, the pressure, both external and internal, had become too great to withstand. After ten years at the highest level, he suddenly found no joy in the game, and competing became \u201ca nightmare\u201d. \u201cAt some point, it just changed me,\u201d he said. \u201cMy girlfriend saw me, one day I just started crying because for six months I had been dealing with a lot of sh*t that had been thrown in my face. \u201cAnd then, you have one bad game, two bad games, you have a problem in your life and you just release the pressure. And the way I do it is by crying. \u201cIt happened a lot in the last year, year and a half. I took the hits and at some point released everything at the same time. That was mostly why I felt relieved.\u201d Life on the bench As much of a relief as taking a break was for kennyS, he did not hang up his mouse and keyboard after getting benched. Hopeful that the phone would ring, he kept working to stay in shape, and publicly stated his intention to continue to \u201cgrind CS\u201d despite the appeal presented by Valorant. Yet as the weeks and months went by, he came to the painful realization that his services were no longer in high demand. With the rise of Valorant and the economic impact of the global health crisis, more and more organizations have moved their focus away from Counter-Strike. And for many of the teams that are still in it, strengthening their rosters often means waiting for contracts to expire or simply picking up lesser-known, cheaper options. As blockbuster transfers have become a bit of a rarity in CS:GO, big-name players have frequently found themselves withering away when they get benched. \u201cCOVID hasn\u2019t been great to the game, and the fact that we are losing players is also making it really hard for organizations to invest, especially in a 26-year-old that is known for having a lazy mindset,\u201d kennyS said. \u201cIt\u2019s the truth, I\u2019ve been lazy my entire career. Obviously, now that I am where I am, I can say that I would have done things differently. But it is what it is. Everybody makes mistakes. The situation I\u2019m in right now is also because of those mistakes. \u201cI didn\u2019t have any interesting offers at all in CS. I got benched at a pretty bad time, I guess. My buyout is probably quite expensive, even though I\u2019m probably losing value with time. I\u2019m a big investment and I\u2019m a 26-year-old player with a ten-year career. People might think I\u2019m not the best investment, and I can understand that. \u201cI was a bit disappointed because I don\u2019t want CS to die, even if I\u2019m not a big part of it. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s going to die, but it\u2019s definitely not in the best shape.\u201d As he put his esports aspirations on hold, kennyS found new ways to keep his mind occupied. He regularly streams his CS and Valorant pug matches, and produces new videos about both games to the more than 100,000 subscribers on his YouTube channel. Discover more: CSGO pros reveal how good s1mple really is – Being a content creator, as refreshing as it is, presents a whole different set of challenges. \u201cI thought I\u2019d have more free time, but that\u2019s not the case,\u201d he said. \u201cI haven\u2019t had any holidays, I\u2019d say I\u2019m working even harder than when I was playing. But it\u2019s been pretty fun. I\u2019m working with the people I want to work with.\u201d In September, he attended the VCT Stage 3 Masters event in Berlin with his girlfriend, capturing behind-the-scenes footage to release on Youtube. According to him, it was a valuable and humbling experience that only reinforced his desire to compete again. It also challenged some preconceived notions that he had about Valorant and its competitive scene. \u201cI was a bit frustrated, seeing the stage, seeing people scream when they won a tough round,\u201d kennyS said. \u201cI miss the competition, for sure. \u201cI definitely enjoy Valorant. The game is good. I\u2019m a CS lover, but I\u2019m not like, \u2018I love CS so I hate Valorant\u2019. No, that\u2019s stupid. It doesn\u2019t work that way, you\u2019ve got to be objective, you\u2019ve got to check the game and try it. \u201cGoing to VCT has also given me a different approach to the game. You come from CS and you might think, \u2018Oh, Valorant is easy\u2019. But that\u2019s not the case. It\u2019s not because you\u2019re a super good player in CS that you\u2019re going to win everything and that you\u2019re going to be the best. That\u2019s not how it works. That\u2019s not true. If you think that, you\u2019re going to fail. \u201cI was like, \u2018Maybe as a CS player I should respect the players that are performing well in this game\u2019. Most of the players come from CS, but for example, I\u2019ve been playing a lot with nAts, who is in my opinion the best player in Valorant. He comes from CS but he was not a pro. What makes the difference is that he\u2019s working hard to be good.\u201d Valorant has been suggested as a potential career option for kennyS since his benching, and his name was at one point linked with Alliance. Questioned about the rumors, kennyS denied having undergone a trial with the team, though he said that he has had \u201ca lot of offers\u201d in Valorant. This is hardly a surprise, given his impressive Counter-Strike r\u00e9sum\u00e9 and the level of success that former tier-one CS:GO players have enjoyed since transitioning to Riot Games\u2019 title. Future goals Though kennyS is enjoying his time as a content creator, he has no doubt that he wants to return to competition. The question now is whether he will do it in CS:GO \u2013 the game he fell in love with as a child but that doesn\u2019t seem to love him back anymore \u2013 or in Valorant. He is putting any decision on hold until after PGL Major Stockholm, only the second Major that he will miss. That\u2019s when he will be able to assess whether there\u2019s still room for him in the scene as top CS:GO teams will start making roster changes for the new season. \u201cHonestly, I don\u2019t even know if my future is still in CS:GO,\u201d kennyS said. \u201cI love the game and I wish things could have been different. I wish I could change that, but I don\u2019t know if I\u2019ll have the opportunity.\u201d If these words sound familiar, that\u2019s because they echo the sentiments of Adil \u2018ScreaM\u2019 Benrlitom, who said in 2020 that he wished \u201cthings were different\u201d as he walked away from CS and galloped off to new pastures in Valorant. KennyS is able to find some comfort in knowing that other players have gone through the same conflict of emotions. \u201cWhat ScreaM said literally speaks to me,\u201d he said, laughing. Reflecting on his career, kennyS said that he is \u201cproud of what I\u2019ve achieved, individually and trophy-wise\u201d. Having become one of the faces of Counter-Strike, he admitted that it would pain him to leave the game through the back door. \u201cI don\u2019t want to retire [from CS] like that,\u201d he said. \u201cMaybe I will have to, but it\u2019s not really a nice thing, to retire that way. \u201cI want to show that my situation is the consequence of my mistakes, and I want to prove to myself and to everyone that I can learn from all those things and still be the player people want me to be and that I want to be as well. \u201cWinning one last tier-one event in CS would be really, really great.\u201d But just like ScreaM, who has kick-started his career in Valorant, kennyS won\u2019t sit around sulking and waiting for the phone to ring. Having taken the time to take stock of his past mistakes and recover mentally, he\u2019s ready to show that he still has a huge amount left to offer at the highest level. FINALLY, Welcome TEAM FRANCE \ud83c\uddeb\ud83c\uddf7#SpikeFRA@G2kennyS @Sliicyy_@KaffWorld @NBK @Ninouu97 Group 3 #SpikeNations pic.twitter.com\/v2gDiBfYXn \u2014 BLAST VALORANT (@BLASTVALORANT) October 4, 2021 On October 4, he was announced as one of Team France\u2019s players for the Valorant charity event BLAST Spike Nations. And if the initial reception to the announcement means anything, he might find in the Valorant the kind of support that has been hard to come by in Counter-Strike. \u201cI\u2019m almost getting a bit salty, I saw people wanting me to get benched, and when I got benched, they wanted me to come back,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m like, \u2018I was there, you didn\u2019t want me!\u2019 \u201cAt the end, I had a really better mindset, I was doing things right, it just didn\u2019t work out because of many reasons. I would be sad [to leave CS] because I know I have what it takes to be a really good competitive player, but if there is no space for me in CS I\u2019ll find it somewhere else. \u201cFor me, losing CS is a hard thing, and I think losing me is also not really nice for the game. But it is what it is. If people don\u2019t want to give me the chance, they won\u2019t, but some other people will give me that chance, and I\u2019ll seize it. \u201cMy mental health was really bad in these last few years and now it\u2019s really good. That makes a big difference. At the end of the day, what I want is to compete, to achieve stuff. Back then, I was not thinking about myself too much, I was just living day by day. Now, I have plans. The most important thing is to have plans. As long as I have objectives to reach, I\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
KennyS unsure of CSGO future: \u201cIf there\u2019s no space for me in CS I\u2019ll find it elsewhere\u201d BLASTIn a candid interview with Dexerto, Kenny \u2018kennyS\u2019 Schrub, one of Counter-Strike\u2019s all-time greats, opened up about his mental health problems and in-game struggles. He is looking to return to competition and does not rule out a switch […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-38548","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38548","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38548"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38548\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38548"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38548"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38548"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}