Ironmouse and the power of VTubing: \u201cYou become a superhero\u201d Twitch: IronmouseIronmouse has grown from a soft-spoken streamer to Twitch\u2019s biggest VTuber with a boisterous personality. The medium hasn\u2019t just given the VShojo star an audience, but allowed her to find friends, confidence, and achieve the impossible. Ironmouse was growing tired after hours upon hours of signing prints of herself for fans. The VTuber had opened up a store with two options to pick from, and the lovable star would put her mark on them as well as a special message inside for those who opted. When I spoke to her right after the first signing session live on stream \u2014 reading viewers\u2019 messages while writing her own \u2014 it was basically all a blur. \u201cI was so shocked,\u201d she said, reflecting on the amount of traction it got. \u201cI don\u2019t remember\u2026 what was the number?\u201d Roxy, Ironmouse\u2019s head moderator, quickly chimed in: \u201cIn the first hour you had several hundred of them and within 2-3 hours they were sold out.\u201d She exclaimed at the sheer number, before realizing while she had done a mountain of signings, there was an Everest-sized amount left scattered around for her to complete. \u201cIt\u2019s okay I wore my [arm] brace,\u201d she laughed. \u201cSomebody yelled at me.\u201d She was trying her best to keep her autograph the same for everyone. That fell flat pretty quickly. \u201cI tried to do it the same but as the night went on I realized that as much as I thought it looks the same, it does not look the same.\u201d Such is the life of Ironmouse now, Twitch\u2019s biggest VTubing sensation. \u201cThere\u2019s two different versions of me\u201d Ironmouse isn\u2019t just an overnight success story. In fact, as far as internet creators go, she\u2019s been on one of the toughest grinds to reach her level of stardom. The Puerto Rican VTuber started out in the dark days of virtual streaming back in 2017, when the only name the internet really knew was Kizuna AI. The Japanese VTuber, who many consider to be the first, was this fringe figure people online knew about but never really paid attention to. But for Mousey, she was an idol. With musical talents akin to her own, she could somewhat see herself in those shoes. There were a couple of problems though. One: VTubing was niche \u2014 even by today\u2019s standards the community is still relatively niche, but back then it was as underground as it comes. The second? She didn\u2019t know where to start from a technical and personal point of view. \u201cI saw so many people streaming and I went \u2018I want to do that\u2019 but I didn\u2019t think anybody was going to watch me because I\u2019m not fun and I don\u2019t have the life experience to tell interesting stories. I didn\u2019t think anything of it,\u201d she stated. \u201cI was really nervous about showing myself because of my personal issues but I had a friend who introduced me to a program called FaceRig. \u201cI was watching a lot of Kizuna AI and to me it felt impossible because I would see her and think \u2018man she must have a huge team and this is really expensive to do\u2019. My friend comes in and she\u2019s like \u2018there\u2019s a program called FaceRig, you can be an anime girl on the internet,\u2019 and I\u2019m like \u2018no one is going to watch me\u2019 but I guess everything happens the way it did.\u201d Those personal issues are something Ironmouse has been very public with. She suffers from common variable immunodeficiency (CVID) as well as a lung condition. This left the rather personable entertainer stuck indoors for years \u2014 long before the world started its own self-isolation \u2014 hooked up to oxygen around the clock so as to not fall even more ill. Adapting to this new lifestyle was hard when she was diagnosed, but VTubing allowed her to stay in touch with the outside world, and even helped with treating her condition once she started blowing up in 2020 and she could afford better care. \u201cMy situation was very strange because I\u2019ve always been very extroverted, but because of how I have to live I\u2019ve had to be introverted,\u201d she explained. \u201cHumans are social creatures and they have to be able to communicate with other people. \u201cI have these two conflicting things in me and VTubing helped me reconcile that. It\u2019s offered me a lot of opportunities to learn how to socialize more and be more comfortable as myself and sharing myself with others.\u201d It\u2019s an interesting thought \u2014 especially for someone like Ironmouse who describes herself as \u201cterminally online\u201d \u2014 to have a conflicting view between online persona and real-life identity. There is an Ironmouse that doesn\u2019t stream on Twitch as the embodiment of Satan, but there\u2019s also the one that\u2019s online singing opera and screaming at games. They\u2019re two distinct identities, but they ultimately make up her being: \u201cI see them as parts of a whole. There\u2019s me \u2014 I am Ironmouse [the person], but there\u2019s also Ironmouse [the streamer]. There\u2019s two different versions of me. You know the \u2018we have three wolves inside of us\u2019 meme? I have like 20,000 wolves.\u201d It wasn\u2019t always that way though. In the early days, Ironmouse did her best to hide her condition. She didn\u2019t stream for hours on end, and the avatar acted as a privacy screen. Once word got out though, it changed the dynamic entirely. \u201cIt\u2019s so strange because I get two different things,\u201d Ironmouse said. \u201cFor a long time, I didn\u2019t say anything. I got people who didn\u2019t know at all that I was sick and somebody asked me a question one stream and I answered. They were like \u2018wait you were sick this whole time?\u2019 \u201cBut then, on the other hand, I have the people who are very hyper-aware of my condition and I appreciate their concern \u2014 they\u2019re very caring and they want to make sure that I\u2019m okay \u2014 but it\u2019s a lot. \u201cI appreciate it because I know they mean well and they aren\u2019t being malicious. It\u2019s just navigating that.\u201d The word \u2018parasocial\u2019 gets thrown around a lot in the streaming space in terms of viewers getting close to a streamer in a very one-way relationship. It\u2019s almost become a meme with diehard fans \u2014 but Ironmouse knows that feeling better than anyone. Although many people think it\u2019s a one-way street, it\u2019s really not in the eyes of the star VTuber. If it was, she wouldn\u2019t have found a way to absolve herself from that loneliness she\u2019s felt for years. Twitch streaming for her isn\u2019t just screaming out into the void, that social interaction ultimately keeps her sane \u2014 although watching her you\u2019d maybe think otherwise. \u201cI\u2019ve said this to chat before: I feel like people are super parasocial all the time. It\u2019s not just VTubing or streaming, it\u2019s everything. I think I\u2019m as parasocial as they are. I love talking to people and the subathon that I did was so much fun and I had such a great time. \u201cI feel streaming helps me a lot. It helps me with stress and it\u2019s very important to me. Interacting with people is important to me. \u201cI don\u2019t see myself as a content creator. I see myself being dumb and people accidentally witnessing stuff and enjoying it. I\u2019m pretty laid back, but trying to find structure at the same time \u2014 it\u2019s kind of weird. Call it chaotic good, even though people say I\u2019m chaotic evil that\u2019s not true.\u201d Growing through VTubing Among finding friends and trying to blur out loneliness, VTubing has allowed Ironmouse to explore sides to herself that she wouldn\u2019t have ever dreamed of. Once extroverted, being locked indoors stripped away a lot of that confidence. She could have never dreamed about putting herself out there as an entertainer to just a few people to start. The same goes for blowing up across 2020, and working up towards her record-breaking 31-day subathon that brought in more than 170,000 Twitch subscribers. All those achievements that were once flights of fancy were now tangible. Being able to put on a \u2018suit of armor\u2019 in the form of her cute pink-mouse-slash-devil VTuber model and interact with others online \u2014 following in the footsteps of idols like Kizuna AI \u2014 let Ironmouse grow as a person. \u201cI just really liked what Kizuna AI was doing a lot. She inspired me, but also I always had a fascination with people who were faceless and anonymous, who would create content and put it out there like Corpse. He was faceless for a long time and I thought that was very interesting. It was appealing to me because in real life I\u2019m sick. \u201cIn my mind, I don\u2019t have a lot of confidence in myself and I just figured I\u2019d like to make friends \u2014 that was the ultimate goal for me, I just wanted to talk to anybody and I didn\u2019t think anything was going to come of it. I just wanted people to want to hang out with me and spend time with me because they thought I was funny and see me for me and not get distracted by my medical situation. It\u2019s complex. Anonymity is wonderful. \u201cThe fact you\u2019re playing a character is great too, but the character is me \u2014 just a more complete, crazier version of me. I really enjoy it, and who doesn\u2019t want to be a cute anime girl?\u201d It\u2019s been a wild five years, but it all circles around to that one goal of \u201cmaking friends\u201d. She\u2019s made more than 1 million of them on Twitch if you go by her follower count, but on a more personal level Ironmouse has managed to explore the world from her bedroom. \u201cThey\u2019re all from different walks of life. I always used to be afraid of getting close to people but it\u2019s so much easier now and I\u2019m glad that I did [start VTubing] because I\u2019ve met a lot of incredible people.\u201d But even if VTubing success is the one thing everyone can see, finding small glimpses of hope within reality brings an extra level of joy that went long unrealized in her life. \u201cI never used to be able to plan things out or write stuff into a calendar because my life was very unpredictable. Now I can though.\u201d Ironmouse doesn\u2019t see herself as an industry leader \u2014 the mere mention of that while I was on call with her left her squealing. But she\u2019s not completely oblivious to her impact, and what\u2019s changed within herself. \u201cFor me, I\u2019ve never felt more myself in my life. I\u2019ve never felt more independent. Ironmouse brought the best in me and I\u2019m starting to feel more comfortable with myself. It\u2019s similar to a lot of people. \u201cI\u2019ve spoken to a lot of people who started VTubing who were like \u2018man I felt so free and I felt like I could do anything\u2019. It\u2019s like you\u2019re putting on a suit of armor and you become a superhero and you can do things you never thought you could do before.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ironmouse and the power of VTubing: \u201cYou become a superhero\u201d Twitch: IronmouseIronmouse has grown from a soft-spoken streamer to Twitch\u2019s biggest VTuber with a boisterous personality. The medium hasn\u2019t just given the VShojo star an audience, but allowed her to find friends, confidence, and achieve the impossible. Ironmouse was growing tired after hours upon hours […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-50681","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50681","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=50681"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50681\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=50681"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=50681"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=50681"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}