How VTubing helps trans creators explore gender identity safely Twitch: Dandyfloss \/ Twitch: Minty YukimeVTubing is a way to express one\u2019s self online, but for trans creators, it\u2019s more than a play thing. The virtual world is a real tool to help with gender identity, exploration, and affirming their sense of self. When asked about her exploration of her gender identity, Minty Yukime called it a \u201cfunny experience\u201d. The fox VTuber started her journey in 2016 like most other transgender people \u2014 trying to figure things out, categorize their experiences into distinct \u2018masculine\u2019 and \u2018feminine\u2019 boxes, and taking it step by step. She described her father, who she lived with at the time, as a \u201ctransphobe\u201d. But once she found safety physically, she was able to explore solace within her. She was able to change out her wardrobe, and then get into a viable position to medically transition a few years down the line. Instead of \u201cstealthing\u201d though, the fair practice of transitioning and then trying to blend back into the background without drawing attention, Minty decided to be very public with her journey. A video of her detailing her voice feminization surgery, and the changes that brought, went viral. She celebrated with her community after getting approved for \u2018bottom surgery\u2019, a type of gender-affirming care. With tens of thousands of followers on social media, and limited trans resources out there, Minty saw her platform as a chance to address the questions she wanted answered when she was diving into the deep end. \u201cThe nice thing about documenting this process is there are a decent amount of documented cases of trans people\u2026 but there aren\u2019t that many examples of trans people who are open in public about their types of journeys,\u201d she told Dexerto. However she only truly felt the comfort and freedom to really speak up about this thanks to VTubing. Previously just a run of the mill streamer, Minty just started creating content because she loved games and \u201cwanted to be able to incorporate that into my livelihood and my hobbies and my life at large. \u201cI already knew I was trans, but VTubing was still really helpful for me because it gave me the opportunity to have this perfect anime girl avatar and start to feel better about myself, then start to work on my voice more, then I could think about my mannerisms and my behavior,\u201d she said. \u201cInstead of being so worried or defeatist about my looks, not thinking I \u2018passed\u2019, I could instead focus on being who I want to be. That\u2019s really helped me a lot in becoming who I am today and learning to grow as a person, as a streamer, as a woman.\u201d Minty\u2019s story is not unique. Dexerto spoke to more than a dozen trans VTubers with different lived experiences \u2014 transmasculine, transfeminine, genderfluid, or otherwise. While every journey is varied, all of them shared one point: VTubing liberated them, and gave them the freedom to truly express who they were. Exploring gender identity virtually Many of the trans VTubers Dexerto spoke to started their gender exploration well before the medium came into prevalence. Usually there\u2019s questions asked at a younger age about interests being \u2018different\u2019 from the gendered norms, but don\u2019t really get analyzed until the teenage years. It can be daunting, if not dangerous, to explore these notions in real life. Some can be surrounded by households or cultures that aren\u2019t accepting of trans identities. For many, there\u2019s plenty of restrictions that make transitioning beyond something \u2018superficial\u2019 like changing how you dress nearly impossible. For someone like Cambionkami, a transmasc VTuber from Australia, it was easier to \u201cignore\u201d his trans identity than try to tackle it: \u201cFor two to three years, I was basically in full denial because I was afraid,\u201d he told Dexerto. An avid VRChat player since 2017, virtual reality more broadly opened up that door \u2014 not just VTubing \u2014 and he could finally live out that ideal reality come later years: \u201cOne day it started off as a joke of like \u2018I know sign, I have models with pens, so I can be a mute\u2019, and my idea was I\u2019d wear the opposite gender model and start it as a joke and see how many people would believe I was a guy. \u201cThrough people being like \u2018you\u2019re a guy\u2019, I weirdly found mental peace, gender euphoria, in a sense. All the pain and trouble inside my head when I realized I might just be a boy inside a girl\u2019s body, it all made sense. This might be who I\u2019m supposed to be.\u201d VTubing does open up some avenues to safely and effectively explore gender identity virtually. All the creators we spoke to mentioned how important their avatar design was to being able to feel safe online, and conform to their ideal identity \u2014 no matter the approach. \u201cI wanted to take this perfect anime character, this cute girl character who everyone loves and she\u2019s helpful and excitable and cute,\u201d Minty described. \u201cI thought to myself I am going to play that character, and maybe eventually, over time, those will become my mannerisms and speech things. I faked it until I made it, and it integrated into who I am.\u201d That doesn\u2019t mean your online identity and your offline one have to perfectly align, transmasc VTuber Riyuu stated: \u201cThere\u2019s still a world of difference in how I present myself online as a streamer, as well as in real life. It\u2019s not so much that the people around me in real life wouldn\u2019t be accepting, but I don\u2019t want to dive into anything in real life.\u201d But visual dysphoria, one of the most prominent sensations felt by trans people whose appearances don\u2019t align with their identity in real life as much as they\u2019d like, can be mostly alleviated. \u201cVTubing is a useful tool because you can get your personality across, but you don\u2019t have to deal with the visual stuff that comes with it,\u201d transfem VTuber Mira told Dexerto. \u201cPeople\u2019s dysphoria varies. Some people don\u2019t have it as much, for others it\u2019s more specific [to a sense]. But with this you have something to represent yourself \u2014 no matter whether it\u2019s fantastical or an idealized version. You can represent yourself more accurately and it takes a lot of the anxiety away.\u201d For Mavis DeLuna, this feeling was doubled in a sense. Identifying as genderfluid, they use masculine, feminine, and more androgynous designs. Being able to flick between them has helped mitigate dysphoria. Not feeling male at a specific time? They can swap to something more affirming. \u201cI discovered I don\u2019t like being strictly feminine or masculine,\u201d they said. \u201cSometimes I feel like I\u2019m neither. Having a model gave me the freedom to express myself the way that I wanted and change on a whim and be like \u2018today I\u2019m masculine, today I\u2019m feminine.\u2019 \u201cEven mid-stream, if I felt a flux, I would switch. It was a nice thing to have up my sleeve in case gender dysphoria hit or I felt a need to change. VTubing allows accessibility and flexibility. It\u2019s inherently a trans concept because you can present yourself as whoever you want to be.\u201d What matters is having a community that is accepting of that journey, and ready to ride along in the passenger seat. Captain Dandyfloss, a transfem VTuber widely regarded as one of the leading voices in the space, is very set on her identity. But she\u2019s helped facilitate the journey for others to find the best moniker to represent themselves, in a way that makes them feel comfortable. \u201cYou find something else that is good for you,\u201d she said. \u201cWhether you end up fully transitioning to become a man or a woman, that\u2019s okay. You might be non-binary, or you might like being a feminine man or a masculine woman. There are whole scales of this. \u201cIt\u2019s wonderful seeing people being able to experiment with these kinds of presentations, and it\u2019s really nice.\u201d This is something genderfluid content creators like Nethyr are especially cognizant of. While they mostly present as masculine online, they feel pressured to present feminine offline. But that act of \u201ctechnically switching between forms\u201d can be somewhat affirming. Even though they\u2019ve been exploring their identity for years previously, and two years virtually, the presentation is always changing. \u201cI realized if I could be my ideal self online, then I could be my ideal self offline too,\u201d they said. \u201cI\u2019m planning on making changes to myself \u2014 my wardrobe, my hairstyle \u2014 in the future so I can better fit how I feel. \u201cThere\u2019s a stereotype that you have to stick with the gender you came out to be. The thing is, you can transition out of it as well. I can be genderfluid right now, but maybe down the line I\u2019m actually a man because I explored myself more. That\u2019s okay \u2014 as long as it makes me happy.\u201d Tackling one dysphoric feeling, amplifying another While VTubing has helped creators with visual dysphoria by aligning more closely with their ideal selves, some other aspects are much harder to come by. Vocal dysphoria was highlighted as a major issue that something the virtual world cannot easily absolve. To some VTubers, like Larkspur Cygnus, the wider community\u2019s expectation plays a part: \u201cPeople expect a certain voice or presentation when it comes to VTubers.\u201d While the high fantasy-style transmasc creator is grateful for their \u201clower register\u201d to have a more \u201cpassing\u201d masculine voice, others have to go through intense vocal training or surgery, like Minty Yukime\u2019s. There are shortcuts with voice changers, but they\u2019re artificial and don\u2019t really solve the problem. \u201cThis is less in VTubing spaces and more in other online spaces, but I have been asked whether I was a boy or a girl while playing Valorant. I would always dodge the question like Neo in The Matrix like \u2018does it matter? As long as you can hear my comms.\u2019\u201d It is especially amplified in streaming, where someone can leave a remark in chat that can trigger the dysphoria: \u201cIf someone is tuning into your stream to relax while doing something, your voice is a major deal,\u201d Mira said. \u201cIf you don\u2019t have a voice that they vibe to, they will point it out. It can hurt your confidence a lot and that causes a negative feedback loop.\u201d Misgendering is a common problem because of this. Even if creators have their pronouns easily visible, it\u2019s easy to play off of assumptions \u2014 you hear a feminine voice, your automatic assumption is the person is a woman. The reactions to this in the trans community vary: some creators are very strict about people using the right pronouns, but others are more lax. There\u2019s generally been a societal shift to acceptance though, something transmasc VTuber Xipher is welcoming of: \u201cI understand it\u2019s not the most natural thing to presume my voice matching the male gender. People slip up. As long as people are trying it doesn\u2019t matter. \u201cYou want to be seen as [masculine], but you\u2019re held back by this one limitation. You can replace your looks with a VTuber model, but you can never get rid of your voice unless you use things like VoiceMod and then that doesn\u2019t sound natural and also has technology limitations. That\u2019s part of the struggle, but people are understanding thankfully. \u201cWhen I first started transitioning five years ago, it was very hard for people to wrap their head around it. It took some shifting, but I found the VTuber community is amazingly open minded, and a lot of people in the world are shifting towards being more open minded about it too.\u201d Beyond this, some creators have taken their voices and empowered them. Vega, a transmasc creator, admits his voice \u201cwasn\u2019t where I wanted it to be because I never had access to testosterone or voice training.\u201d This led to them altering their design to be more androgynous than masculine just to avoid the questioning. But as time goes on, Vega has realized the struggle itself is a uniting force. It\u2019s a collective thing trans VTubers have to face together, and it adds extra bonding to the sense of community that exists in the space. \u201cWith the hours and hours I\u2019ve spent streaming, I\u2019ve grown more comfortable with my voice in that it\u2019s not exactly where I want it to be, it is my voice and I\u2019ve been able to use it more,\u201d he said. \u201cWe all get that feeling sometimes where you\u2019re trying to listen to your VODs or any kind of recording and you get a creeping feeling of \u2018uh oh, this isn\u2019t how I want to sound\u2019 but it\u2019s a little unifying. It feels better to have that shared experience than to face it alone, which was what was happening in real life. \u201cIt\u2019s a little cheesy, but listening to my friends who also struggle with how their voices sound\u2026 they don\u2019t care if my voice doesn\u2019t exactly sound the way I think it should. It\u2019s the voice of someone they care about, and that\u2019s the most important thing.\u201d Building a trans-positive community What can help alleviate those issues, and others trans creators face in the online space disproportionately to their cis counterparts, is having inclusive communities around them. Many of these trans VTubers didn\u2019t just say the community was positive. Some outwardly called the medium, and its many supporters, life savers. \u201cVTubing has been really great for my gender identity and my mental health,\u201d Vega said. \u201cJoining the VTuber community was really great for me because it finally gave me a place where I could safely express my gender identity because I could not do that in person. \u201cBeing able to express that online was a lifeline. I don\u2019t know\u2026 it\u2019s just so good for my mental health to have somewhere to put that where it\u2019s safe and I don\u2019t have to worry as much about it.\u201d Most VTubers Dexerto spoke to have opened up Discord servers and communities with specific resources for fellow trans people to use. Having an open, constructive discourse about gender identity in a safe space lets people freely explore themselves without prejudice. That safe space is so important to many. Mavis DeLuna started one called Pride Prism. Focusing on trans VTubers, but also more broadly catering to LGBTQIA+ creators, Mavis tries \u201cto uplift everyone equally while being aware of their individual needs based on their gender identity. \u201cIf we have transfem people who need specific resources, we need to make sure we find those resources. Same goes for transmasc, we cater to their needs. It\u2019s important to keep everything in mind while being aware of individual needs.\u201d That distinction is important. Within the trans community there are many subsets with different lived experiences, having a community with a similar journey does help. Vega, who is part of all-transmasc VTuber group DREAM*E, attested to that. \u201cBeing able to see people in various different spots in their VTuber journey was eye opening for me and helped me prepare myself,\u201d he said. \u201cNo matter whether you\u2019re fully transitioned and you\u2019re living as your desired gender identity in real life, or if you\u2019re completely in the closet without any outward support in your real life \u2014 no matter where you are on that spectrum, you\u2019re still welcome there and seen as just as valid as anybody else.\u201d It\u2019s not just on this wider community level though. Even for individual creators, just making sure their streams are comfortable and welcoming spaces, and fostering a viewership that pushes out toxicity without prompting, is a must. Transitioning is already hard enough without having to share the experience online, so having that support structure is immensely beneficial. \u201cThere have been a couple of times where I\u2019ve been very defeated by the trans journey because there have been a lot of road bumps and lows,\u201d Minty admitted. \u201cThere was a month-long period after I had given up on surgeries a year and a half ago roughly that I tried considering making a side character that would be a femboy because I didn\u2019t want to deal with being a trans woman. \u201cIt was through [my community] I was able to come back to terms with it and my avatar as a VTuber, and my identity as a VTuber. People were very kind to me.\u201d Just having a community that recognizes you, for you who want to be, is enough: \u201cI wouldn\u2019t say I\u2019m particularly feminine in person, but being seen how I want to be seen feels wonderful,\u201d Dandy added. \u201cIt\u2019s something I feel that once people experience it, they really feel that in themselves. I have a lot of friends who say their voices don\u2019t pass\u2026 but their communities treat them as such because that\u2019s how they want to be seen. The viewers respect that person enough to say \u2018these are your pronouns, this is how you want to be seen, we will treat you as such.\u2019\u201d Breaking through cultural barriers All this internal support doesn\u2019t distract from the fact there are definite cultural barriers stopping full acceptance. The wider anime fandom, which VTubing exists in, has been criticized by some for not being accepting of people from marginalized backgrounds \u2014 trans people included. This is reflected in how people engage with the content of trans people, VTuber manager Tessa Villaverde, who is also trans, said: \u201cThe people who are front and center with their gender identity tend to not do as well as people who have it as a side fact. There is a visibility problem, statistically. You take a trans creator, and you see their numbers dip when they talk about their identity, unless they already have a highly loyal community that hypes them anyways.\u201d Tessa was quick to point out trans VTubers are not in a bubble. Much like every other VTuber or content creator, they are just there to entertain. They suffer from the same sets of issues others do \u2014 burnout, disenfranchisement, the oversaturated creator market \u2014 regardless of identity or orientation. Where the struggle lies is getting equal opportunity, as well as equal respect for their work, which unfortunately still mirrors how trans people are subconsciously treated in real life. \u201cYou\u2019re dealing with a lot of implicit biases that are cultural. It comes as it is, and it\u2019s not related to VTubing. It\u2019s just the general societal prejudices. All that snowballs into their daily interactions. That\u2019s all stuff that\u2019s really hard to avoid. They have to work harder to overcome those implicit biases, and have the confidence to plow through them.\u201d This is not to say the VTubing community is perfect. Every trans creator we spoke to had at least one negative experience to point towards. \u201cThere were hate raids going around a while ago, and that definitely hit a lot of people very hard,\u201d Mira said. \u201cI ended up getting hit by three raids of people shouting out slurs and all that stuff. They go for the tags you use. \u201cThe worst thing you can do is panic when it happens. If you show that when it happens, they smell blood.\u201d Trans creators feel the need to be extra conscious about their identity online, even if VTubing is treated by some as an anonymous haven: \u201cI\u2019ve had actual nightmares where I wake up, dreaming of being doxxed,\u201d Dandy said. Platforms like Twitch have implemented some safety measures to keep all creators safe. New features like Shield Mode are a huge plus, and have been praised by many minority communities. There\u2019s also increased awareness and visibility on the space, especially during Pride Month. But support for the community cannot be isolated to just 30 days of the year. It has to be all year round, and involve the creators who are facing the vitriol and harassment themselves. \u201cIf you are going to run a platform and preach things like safety and inclusion, you need to stick to those values and enforce those boundaries,\u201d Mavis stated. \u201cI feel like a lot of platforms have a problem with not addressing those boundaries. \u201cI see trans creators, even non-VTubers, deal with hate raids or mass attacks or disgusting transphobia. Sometimes they\u2019ll get reported but [platforms] won\u2019t follow up on it.\u201d All the trans creators are accepting of the fact, sadly, this is their existence on the internet. There will always be harassment around the corner. There\u2019s no one right approach to tackling it, but at least online there\u2019s ways of working around it and curating a safer space. \u201cIt\u2019s honestly just about finding the right audience, and knowing not to accept everything that gets thrown your way,\u201d transfem VTuber Nile Pereira told Dexerto. \u201cThere\u2019s bound to be bigots wherever you go. People will be transphobic or homophobic, they won\u2019t like you. \u201cOnline you have the tools to combat that. You have people who will be supportive. With any online space, it\u2019s about making friends, finding the right people, making connections, and having a general support structure. You can explore gender identity safely in this community, and if anyone gives you some trouble, you have the tools to get around that.\u201d Fighting for wider acceptance The goal of a trans person isn\u2019t to be a \u2018trans\u2019 person. They want to transition and become the most ideal version of themselves, whatever gender that is, in whatever way possible. \u201cThe thing about anything that relates to representation is there can be a thing as forced or too much,\u201d Xipher said. \u201cIt\u2019s absolutely valuable, but the reason people are transitioning is to be seen as that gender. If you are seeing someone as naturally being that gender, does it really matter if they\u2019re trans or not?\u201d \u201cMe, as a trans woman, my goal isn\u2019t to be a trans woman,\u201d Minty added, \u201cit\u2019s to be a woman. Not to say trans women aren\u2019t women, but that\u2019s a very key thing people misunderstand sometimes. They don\u2019t realize a lot of trans women don\u2019t have pride. They aren\u2019t proud of themselves being a trans woman. They just want to be accepted as a woman flatly.\u201d What VTubing adds to that journey as a trans person is a medium to more accurately represent yourself, safely explore your gender identity, and be okay with experimenting. People are accepting of who you are, for what you want to be known as. \u201cYou want people to say \u2018I\u2019m okay with you being yourself,\u2019\u201d Dandy added. \u201cYou don\u2019t need people to know you\u2019re trans. VTubing helps that because regardless of where you are in your transition, it\u2019s what you want people to see you as.\u201d All of the trans creators Dexerto spoke to are somewhere along this journey. Some are fully medically transitioned, others are only just starting the process. Some can\u2019t access those surgeries. But that doesn\u2019t make one VTuber more valid than another. There are still many issues facing trans creators. The level of harassment they face is some of the highest among those online. Even for the bigger creators like Minty and Dandy, there\u2019s a deep down fear of growing a bigger presence online because of the extra eyeballs and comments that come with that. For trans VTubing, and the creators behind it, to become more accepted, it requires a seismic shift in society akin to one the anime community reckoned with: \u201cGetting VTubing to be more mainstream like anime is what it will take,\u201d Tessa said, \u201cbut that comes with all sorts of problems. \u201cFor trans VTubers to find the spotlight, we would have to be equally front and center with our cis counterparts.\u201d What matters in the interim is getting positive representation and meaningful visibility, and bridge the gaps in the community. Even something as simple as saying \u201ctrans rights are human rights\u201d can mean so much \u2014 and that\u2019s where the wider space can start. \u201cI\u2019m very pleasantly surprised whenever I see a big creator, even one who is not a VTuber, say something like that,\u201d Minty stated. \u201cThat\u2019s how you bridge those gaps. \u201cYou have to have responsible creators who are big, willing to accept that and have those opinions and say them out loud, because that\u2019s how you convert your audiences into being trans-accepting people. \u201cIt will come down to a lot of luck, a lot of time, and a lot of people struggling and giving up and not making it or continuing to grind at a wall with their content. But with time it\u2019ll happen.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
How VTubing helps trans creators explore gender identity safely Twitch: Dandyfloss \/ Twitch: Minty YukimeVTubing is a way to express one\u2019s self online, but for trans creators, it\u2019s more than a play thing. The virtual world is a real tool to help with gender identity, exploration, and affirming their sense of self. When asked about […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-63679","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63679","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=63679"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63679\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=63679"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=63679"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dejan.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=63679"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}